(I know, I know; I’ve run this in the ground, but it’s important for today’s blog, okay? OKAY? Good.)
At that point, the “Dome Mystique,” as my buddy Sly calls it, was evacuated. At that point, Saints fans began to panic about the upcoming postseason. At that point, it seemed we were headed for another typical Saints season: high hopes and nothing to show for it.
Making matter worse, New Orleans sat its starters Sunday and will go into the postseason riding a three-game losing season.
So why is the Saints Guy feeling better than ever?
Is it the tacos I just ate? (Yes.) Is it Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 sitting unopened on top of my PS3? (Nodding.) And is it positive feelings regarding New Orleans heading into the playoffs?
(Absolutely.)
Huh? You haven’t won a game in four, almost five weeks and you’re feeling good, you ask? You still believe in a Saints Superbowl? And now are you trying to break your question mark record set last week again? You’re an idiot?
Yep, life’s good as a Saints fan, and after you read the NFC breakdown, you’ll completely understand why.
No. 6 seed: Philadelphia Eagles (11-5)
Three weeks ago, this was the scariest team in the National Football Conference. A team that weathered a McNabb-less storm in the early part of the season (remember, the Saints blew them out at home) came on incredibly strong throughout the rest of the year. With the Minnesota Vikings floundering in December, the Eagles had the chance to secure a first-round bye and the regular season NFC East title with a win over their heated rival, the Dallas Cowboys.
What happened? The Eagles crapped the nest and were shut out 24-0. In one game, the Eagles went from the No. 2 seed to the No. 6 seed, dropping harder than the chances for a Pacquiao/Mayweather fight.
Rocky villain: Thunderlips-- What looked like a tough opponent will easily get knocked out in the first round.
No. 5 seed: Green Bay Packers (11-5)
A riddle, if you will: What do you call a surprise that shouldn’t have been a surprise at all but ended up being a surprise anyway? Green Bay has had a talented young defense, a solid running game, and a quarterback that plays like a future Hall of Famer at times. While the story of the NFC North all season long was Brett Favre and his performance enhan-- I mean Brett Favre having fun out there, the Pack silently put together a stout regular season record finishing one game out of first place in the NFC North.
Regardless, this is a boring team that will only be significant if somehow the Packers and Vikings meet up at any point in the playoffs. No thanks.
Rocky villain: Adrian-- Annoying and completely ruined any part of the story in which she was involved, yet stuck around for a long time. Seriously, would you want to watch a Packer-Charger Superbowl? Didn’t think so.
No. 4 seed: Arizona Cardinals (10-6)
First, winning the NFC West is like testing yourself for an STD and coming out with chlamydia… Did you really win anything at all? Let’s move on…
Arizona has a quarterback that time forgot, an outstanding receiver who splits secondaries like a cleaver, and… that’s it. All season long, the Cards have only had a triple-digit rusher two times. If the Cardinals are going to the Superbowl, Warner will have to throw for 450 yards in three straight games, two of which will all but guaranteed be on the road. Don’t count on it.
Oh, and the biggest problem with Arizona? It would be half of everyone’s greatest fear in the postseason: Eagles-Cardinals in the NFC Title Game. Again, no thanks.
Rocky villain: Tommy Gunn-- You’re supposed to pretend this particular movie/villain never happened.
No. 3 seed: Dallas Cowboys (11-5)
This is it. This is the one. This is Rocky villain: Ivan Drago, the best villain in the best Rocky movie.
Follow me, if you will.
Ivan Drago (the Cowboys) killed Rocky’s best friend, Apollo Creed (the undefeated season) to start the movie. And spoiler alert: Rocky and Drago have an epic battle of the ages in which Rocky avenges Apollo’s death and goes to the Superbowl.
This script is perfect, especially considering the only way the Cowboys and the Saints can have their rematch would be in the NFC Title Game in New Orleans. I’ll go on record saying this would be the highest rated non-Superbowl postseason game in history, much higher than what Saints-Vikings.
Bigger picture: this would be the battle for America’s team (sort of how Rocky turned the Soviets to his side as the fight progressed). The country had already put its faith in the Saints, particularly before the three-game losing streak, and if they’re in the NFC Title Game, they’ll hop back on board.
Saints-Cowboys is the NFL’s dream come true. You could say it's Christmas for the league, which would be better since Balboa-Drago was fought on Christmas Day.
--
Why am I happy? Well, for one, the Saints will be playing either a) a floundering Eagles team, b) a young Packers team in the Superdome, or c) a one-dimensional Cardinals team. See, the glass is half full for the Saints Guy right now. Originally, I was agitated that we didn’t go for the win against Carolina but then I realized the coaching staff knew exactly what it was doing.
We had already secured home field advantage throughout the playoffs when the Vikings lost to the Bears. The Carolina game could only be bad for us, to be honest. So why not get your health-- and your confidence-- back by resting your starters?
Imagine if the Saints had started everybody and still lost. Then you really have lost three straight. At least if you lose to Carolina, you have convinced your team and fans that your focus is not to just rest starters, but get everyone healthy for when it truly matters.
All is not lost. And sure, this is the toughest NFC playoff picture in a long, long time. But somewhere in the New Orleans Saints is the team that beat the New England Patriots in the Superdome in November. It’s in there. The Saints have an extra week to right the ship, and the fans have an extra week to get ready to rock the ‘Dome for two straight weeks before the Superbowl.
Everyone counted Rocky out in nearly every fight he fought. And we all know how that turned out…
Nostra-Saints Guy predictions for Wildcard Weekend
Bengals 24, Jets 14
Cowboys 27, Eagles 24
Ravens 17, Patriots 14
Packers 31, Cardinals 17
