“Mr. Rolle, Don’t Make Me Angry; You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry”

A few days ago, the Arizona Cardinals and the Green Bay Packers put on a scoring onslaught the likes of which had never been seen in the postseason. The teams had combined for 91 points after Arizona’s Michael Adams stuck his index finger inside Aaron Rodgers’ face mask, causing the football to come loose and Karlos Dansby to recover the fumble for a 17-yard touchdown.

Ball game.

A shootout of epic proportions that went into overtime has put the Cardinals in a really bad position heading into Saturday. Seriously, the Cards just had to score 51 points and now will face the top offense in the NFL on six days rest.

Could it get worse for Arizona?

Look at this.

“Let me tell you something - that dude is scary. We have a great defense and we were up on him and ready to pounce, and he found ways to tear us apart. I don't ever want to face him again in my life. I am dead serious. I'll face Drew Brees any day of the week before I face him again.” – Antrel Rolle

Ahem. That last part bears repeating.

“I'll face Drew Brees any day of the week before I face him again.”

Yep, Antrel Rolle just gave the Saints what we in the biz like to call “bulletin board material.”  To educate, “bulletin board material” occurs when someone makes an idiotic comment that coaches and players can refer to as fodder to fire the team up even more.  Rolle’s comment qualifies as idiotic, for sure.

Keep going?  Don’t mind if I do.

Not only did Rolle make the comment, he followed it up a few days later with this gem.

"I don't call any player out.  I'm a professional in this league.  Drew Brees has earned his right as one of the most outstanding quarterbacks in this league.  His play on the field speaks for itself.  But it is what it is.  If they want to go use that as ammunition, something that I didn't say, then let it be done.  I don't back down from anyone.  I'm not scared of anyone.  The game still has to be played on Saturday, and I'm coming there to play ball, bottom line."

(Side note: If he backpedals this well on the field tomorrow, the Saints receivers are in trouble… but don’t count on it…)

Oh, and then?

"(The reporter) threw Drew Brees' name out there as I was walking out of the locker-room, and I'm like 'I'm not talking about Drew Brees right now.'  After a game like that, who is going to be thinking about Drew Brees?  I mean, the guy who just ripped us was Aaron Rodgers.  That's who I was talking about.  That's who I was giving praise to."

/End copy + pasting quotes.  Antrel Rolle is a good safety; nobody’s going to deny that.  But he wasn’t very smart and savvy after the Green Bay game last week.

Right now, New Orleans is a sleeping giant.  And yes, the Saints have been asleep for a few weeks it seems.  But would you in a million years want to do anything to motivate the best offense in the NFL in its own backyard?  Especially now that the team is healthy again and they signed Deuce McAllister for the playoffs?  (Side note: Even if Deuce doesn't play, this just took the Superdome crowd from a 9.5 to nuclear holocaust.)

Sorry, Antrel.  You’re about to be on the wrong side of history.  When I saw the Cardinals would be our divisional round opponent, I breathed a sigh of relief.  Relief because I know there’s no way your team will show up two weeks in a row.

Need proof?  Gosh, you’re pushy today.

You’ve won three straight games only two times this year.  Your winning streaks consisted of teams like the Texans, the Seahawks, the Bears, the Rams, and I could keep going on but the Arena Football League didn’t play this year.  Who’s the best team you beat in the regular season?  A Minnesota Vikings’ team that’s folded faster than a senator at a temp convention.

The Cardinals’ win over Green Bay doesn’t look all that impressive since the defenses took a vacation until overtime began.  And now they have to play on the road six days after that yardage explosion.

Mark it down: this is why I’d rather see Arizona any day of the week.  And I’m not paying them a compliment in any way. 

One week away from Balboa-Drago.

Nostra-Saints Guy predictions for Wildcard Weekend

Saints 31, Cardinals 14

Colts 21, Ravens 10

Chargers 21, Jets 7

Cowboys 28, Vikings 14

Wildcard Weekend: The Ivan Drago of the NFC

Two weeks ago, the Saints Babe and I sat in the Superdome with a numbing sensation in our limbs and a pit in our stomachs. After leading 17-0 in the first half, the Saints neglected to score again in the second half and let the 2-12 Buccaneers come back for an overtime win.

(I know, I know; I’ve run this in the ground, but it’s important for today’s blog, okay? OKAY? Good.)

At that point, the “Dome Mystique,” as my buddy Sly calls it, was evacuated. At that point, Saints fans began to panic about the upcoming postseason. At that point, it seemed we were headed for another typical Saints season: high hopes and nothing to show for it.

Making matter worse, New Orleans sat its starters Sunday and will go into the postseason riding a three-game losing season.

So why is the Saints Guy feeling better than ever?

Is it the tacos I just ate? (Yes.) Is it Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 sitting unopened on top of my PS3? (Nodding.) And is it positive feelings regarding New Orleans heading into the playoffs?

(Absolutely.)

Huh? You haven’t won a game in four, almost five weeks and you’re feeling good, you ask? You still believe in a Saints Superbowl? And now are you trying to break your question mark record set last week again? You’re an idiot?

Yep, life’s good as a Saints fan, and after you read the NFC breakdown, you’ll completely understand why.

No. 6 seed: Philadelphia Eagles (11-5)

Three weeks ago, this was the scariest team in the National Football Conference. A team that weathered a McNabb-less storm in the early part of the season (remember, the Saints blew them out at home) came on incredibly strong throughout the rest of the year. With the Minnesota Vikings floundering in December, the Eagles had the chance to secure a first-round bye and the regular season NFC East title with a win over their heated rival, the Dallas Cowboys.

What happened? The Eagles crapped the nest and were shut out 24-0. In one game, the Eagles went from the No. 2 seed to the No. 6 seed, dropping harder than the chances for a Pacquiao/Mayweather fight.

Rocky villain: Thunderlips-- What looked like a tough opponent will easily get knocked out in the first round.

No. 5 seed: Green Bay Packers (11-5)

A riddle, if you will: What do you call a surprise that shouldn’t have been a surprise at all but ended up being a surprise anyway? Green Bay has had a talented young defense, a solid running game, and a quarterback that plays like a future Hall of Famer at times. While the story of the NFC North all season long was Brett Favre and his performance enhan-- I mean Brett Favre having fun out there, the Pack silently put together a stout regular season record finishing one game out of first place in the NFC North.

Regardless, this is a boring team that will only be significant if somehow the Packers and Vikings meet up at any point in the playoffs. No thanks.

Rocky villain: Adrian-- Annoying and completely ruined any part of the story in which she was involved, yet stuck around for a long time. Seriously, would you want to watch a Packer-Charger Superbowl? Didn’t think so.

No. 4 seed: Arizona Cardinals (10-6)

First, winning the NFC West is like testing yourself for an STD and coming out with chlamydia… Did you really win anything at all? Let’s move on…

Arizona has a quarterback that time forgot, an outstanding receiver who splits secondaries like a cleaver, and… that’s it. All season long, the Cards have only had a triple-digit rusher two times. If the Cardinals are going to the Superbowl, Warner will have to throw for 450 yards in three straight games, two of which will all but guaranteed be on the road. Don’t count on it.

Oh, and the biggest problem with Arizona? It would be half of everyone’s greatest fear in the postseason: Eagles-Cardinals in the NFC Title Game. Again, no thanks.

Rocky villain: Tommy Gunn-- You’re supposed to pretend this particular movie/villain never happened.

No. 3 seed: Dallas Cowboys (11-5)

This is it. This is the one. This is Rocky villain: Ivan Drago, the best villain in the best Rocky movie.

Follow me, if you will.

Ivan Drago (the Cowboys) killed Rocky’s best friend, Apollo Creed (the undefeated season) to start the movie. And spoiler alert: Rocky and Drago have an epic battle of the ages in which Rocky avenges Apollo’s death and goes to the Superbowl.

This script is perfect, especially considering the only way the Cowboys and the Saints can have their rematch would be in the NFC Title Game in New Orleans. I’ll go on record saying this would be the highest rated non-Superbowl postseason game in history, much higher than what Saints-Vikings.

Bigger picture: this would be the battle for America’s team (sort of how Rocky turned the Soviets to his side as the fight progressed). The country had already put its faith in the Saints, particularly before the three-game losing streak, and if they’re in the NFC Title Game, they’ll hop back on board.

Saints-Cowboys is the NFL’s dream come true. You could say it's Christmas for the league, which would be better since Balboa-Drago was fought on Christmas Day.

--

Why am I happy? Well, for one, the Saints will be playing either a) a floundering Eagles team, b) a young Packers team in the Superdome, or c) a one-dimensional Cardinals team. See, the glass is half full for the Saints Guy right now. Originally, I was agitated that we didn’t go for the win against Carolina but then I realized the coaching staff knew exactly what it was doing.

We had already secured home field advantage throughout the playoffs when the Vikings lost to the Bears. The Carolina game could only be bad for us, to be honest. So why not get your health-- and your confidence-- back by resting your starters?

Imagine if the Saints had started everybody and still lost. Then you really have lost three straight. At least if you lose to Carolina, you have convinced your team and fans that your focus is not to just rest starters, but get everyone healthy for when it truly matters.

All is not lost. And sure, this is the toughest NFC playoff picture in a long, long time. But somewhere in the New Orleans Saints is the team that beat the New England Patriots in the Superdome in November. It’s in there. The Saints have an extra week to right the ship, and the fans have an extra week to get ready to rock the ‘Dome for two straight weeks before the Superbowl.

Everyone counted Rocky out in nearly every fight he fought. And we all know how that turned out…

Nostra-Saints Guy predictions for Wildcard Weekend

Bengals 24, Jets 14

Cowboys 27, Eagles 24

Ravens 17, Patriots 14

Packers 31, Cardinals 17

Mail Time: What if I pulled my starters, too?

Mark Brunell is starting tomorrow for New Orleans, a team that desperately needs a win (or at least a good showcase) to break out of a nasty slump. I can only tell myself so many times that the team that beat the Patriots is still in there somewhere, right?

Let’s move on to the questions from our fake e-mailers. There’s a vat of acid that I may or may not jump into afterward.

Have you ever seen Sean Payton call a more tentative game than he did in the second half against Tampa Bay? With a three-score lead, at home, with home-field in the playoffs on the line, it's like Payton was playing not to lose rather than showing his usual killer instinct. At least, that's what my daddy slurred after he had a couple of six-packs in him.

T-Bob,
Baton Rouge

I was at this game, and I tweeted (That’s the word, right? Tweeted?) many times in the second half that both sides of the ball were playing not to lose. And I kid you not, 70,021 people had the exact same look on their faces just like I wrote this past week. It was one of the lowest points I’ve felt in a long time with a sporting event involved.

You know what shored this theory up for me? A couple of 4th-and-inches plays for the offense where we elected to punt. Never mind the punt return; just the thought that a 13-1 team couldn’t get that extra foot or two against a 2-12 team is not good for a team going into a tough, tough NFC playoff in the next couple of weeks.

And our answer this week is to rest our super-duper star quarterback and not try to get any momentum back when we need it more than anybody… Hold on, the Vikings are calling and saying they’ve only won one out of their last four games and may not even get a first round bye. Guess the grass isn’t necessarily greener.

Is the problem with the Saints offense as simple as missing Jeremy Shockey? I know you love my pops, founder of the square hamburger and 7-yard curl route catcher extraordinaire, but is Shockey's ability to create mismatches on linebackers in the slot and go vertical hampering the offense? Can we safely assume New Orleans will resume scoring 35 points per game upon his return, after averaging only 17 in his absence?

Melinda Lou "Wendy" Thomas Morse
Columbus, Ohio

Let me break this down into terms from “The Wire.” Jeremy Shockey is best compared to Avon Barksdale, the criminal mastermind of the West Baltimore projects—a man that is totally dangerous and not to be messed with. Your father, David Thomas, seems more like D’Angelo Barksdale—a very talented and smart lieutenant, but not quite “The Man” like his uncle Avon.

Where would this rank Jim Mora, you ask? Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons. (This makes PERFECT sense if you remember Jim Mora.)

Have you thought that maybe YOU are the one to blame for the Saints' slump? After all, the Saints were 12-0 and storming their way to the perfect season when YOU decided to resurrect this blog after an 18-month absence. Why of all times did you choose now to mess with perfection? The Sports Guy, Los Angeles

First of all, to get a fake e-mail from you ranks almost as high as the emotions I felt on my wedding day. A lot of crying and throwing up.

Seriously, though, we ended up winning that Atlanta game, which made me think that this all isn’t my fault after all. Are the football gods angry that I created this blog then neglected it for 18 months until my team starting being overly successful? Or was it just time for the Saints to lose? Will this end up being a good thing? Am I trying to break a record for most question marks in one paragraph??????????????

(I think that did it.)

I'd like to introduce myself since we've never met. I'm Matt Moore. I'm sure you hadn't heard of me before a couple of weeks ago. I was one of several mediocre QBs at UCLA before deciding I was wasting away playing in the shadow of USC's golden arms. Ended up as a two-year starter for Mike Riley at Oregon State. Went undrafted and went through the preseason with the Cowboys before being waived and picked up by the Carolina Panthers. Saw my first action against the Saints in October of '07 and some more action that December after an injury to Jake Delhomme and crappy performances by David Carr and Vinny "Will I Ever Die?" Testaverde. Backed up Jake all of last year, and with him absolutely sucking this year, all of a sudden I'm 3-1 as a starter, including back-to-back upsets of the Vikings and the Giants. Now your Saints are coming to town, and even though home field is locked up, I'm sure they don't want to go into the playoffs on a 3-game losing streak, and I bet you wish your old buddy Jake was taking snaps instead of me, don't you?

Matt Moore
Charlotte, N.C.

Pat yourself on the back, Matt—you’ll officially be the guy who got Jake Delhomme cut. What surprises me is that you’re NOT the guy who got John Fox fired. In a “what-can-you-do-for-me-yesterday” league, how does John Fox survive having never had back-to-back winning seasons? Mike Shanahan won two Superbowls and currently needs a job… this makes my head spin.

And you may get even luckier next season, Matt, since it’ll be Fox’s turn for a winning year.

(Which makes me secretly sick because I, and everyone else, realize that this HAS to be the year the Saints win the big one. Hold on a second while I tie these jumper cables to my nipples.)

It's your #1 fan/foe (hey, I have an identity crisis sometimes) again. With our second straight loss, it's looking all but sure that my boy #9 won't get MVP or Offensive Player of the Year (hello Peyton and Chris Johnson). But don't you think that D-Sharp has been the Defensive Player of the Year? Yeah, there are some good candidates out there. Patrick Willis is a man child for the 9ers. Elvis don't call me Dumb-ervil is running away with the sacks title. And Darrelle Revis doesn't have the stats because basically nobody even challenges him anymore. But D-Sharp has been amazing. Tied for the league lead with 7 picks. His 3 pick-6s and 376 INT return yards lead the league. He's been a run stopper, too, with 77 total tackles as a free safety. He's been the stabalizing force in a secondary that has been hampered by nagging injuries. And his arrival has helped turn around what quite simply has been a mediocre and underachieving defense for years.

R.B., The Big Easy via L.A. and San Diego

I dare say Darren FRACKIN’ Sharper should have the right credentials for the award, but he sort of petered off after an excellent start. He had four INTs through four games with two pick-sixes. In weeks 6 through 16, he’s had three interceptions. True, it’s difficult to keep up such a high pace going (ask Elvis), but hopefully he’s done enough so far. Gun to my head, I think he’s the guy.



(Wait, no, Vince Young, I didn’t mean that literally!)

Anyhow, since Drew’s sitting, I’m going to have to count on the D to win the Carolina game tomorrow. And our man D-Sharp is going to have to be the man in that game. Here’s hoping the regular season ends with a W… heaven knows three L’s would be difficult to overcome, even with dome field advantage. With that, I bid you adieu.

(Editor's note: D-Sharp is sitting as well against Carolina today. Guess the Saints know something we don't about momentum heading into the playoffs...)